Middle
school was a horrible time for me, as well as for many people I
know. Everyone is different and unique,
but middle school is not the place to be different. Growing up I did not deal with the thoughts
and feelings inside that many GLBT students do, but my differences were on the
outside – right out in the open. I was
an early bloomer. I had horrid acne (on
my face, neck, back, arms, etc.) and filled out my shirt quite well. These were even more obvious when we had swim
class everyday for a whole marking period.
I was made fun of and harassed by students at school and on the bus. Many days I came home crying and did not want
to leave my room. The horrible things
other kids said would just run through my mind and I felt that no one cared
about me. After a while, even my
“friends” joined forces with the other kids.
I tried to make new friends, but no friends stuck. I felt so alone. I didn’t even want to go to school
anymore. My parents knew a little bit,
but I did not feel that anyone could stop what was happening. Of course, none of the horrible things were said
in front of other adults; so, how could they stop it?
As Burns states, “Teen bullying and
suicide has reached an epidemic in our country. Especially among gay and
lesbian youth, those perceived to be gay, or kids who are just different.” I was bullied just because I was
different. Because I was a kid going
through puberty. I feel that bullying
has gone on in schools for decades, but it is different than it used to
be. Maybe kids said things, but the
abuse was more physical. When my parents
were in school, kids got slammed into lockers and they got beat up in the
parking lot. Someone might be called a
“nerd,” but that was the extent of the verbal harassing. Although it has continued through time, the
course of action has changed. I
completely disagree with the idiom, “sticks and stones may break my bones but
words will never hurt me.” I feel that
it is quite the opposite. Yes, being
physically bullied will hurt, but it is short term. Bruises scrapes and cuts heal, but words
stick stay in your brain. You hear them
being repeated over, and over, and over again in your head. They do not go away.
Although I am not a usual Lifetime Channel viewer, someone in my household DVRed "Sexting in Suburbia." It is a horribly sad story about a girl named Dina whose naked picture went viral after sending it to her boyfriend. When she commits suicide, her mother begins looking for answers. She had been taunted and teased from the kids at school and the community. Yes, even the parents were involved. The school and staff knew about it, but did nothing to stop it. When her mother starts digging around she begins receiving threats, break-ins and her daughter's grave is terrorized. This is reality for others out there. How can we send these messages that this is okay to our students?
Many parents do not take bullying
seriously, especially when it comes to boys.
I have heard time and time again, “Boys will be boys!” I had a situation this year where I called a
parent because of a boy in my class saying things to and about another child in
the classroom. Although the mother was
not happy with her son, she did not see the action as “bullying” or “that big
of a deal.” There are many resources out
there for teachers to help aide in bullying prevention. If parents were aware of why these issues are
so important, they would no longer be controversial issues.
The
big question is why do we teach? What is
our purpose? What do we want to
accomplish? I want to provide all
students with a safe and secure environment where they feel comfortable and
want to learn and make sense of the world around them. A place where my students are engaged,
curious and become members of a community and life-long learners. Although I have not heard any students refer
to each other having AIDS or HIV, as mentioned by Silin’s, I have heard them use slang and other derogatory terms
where they did not know the actual meaning, but had just heard it used by
others in the media and at home. “Whether
motivated by specific fears and anxieties, or simply the emotional resonance of
the word in our culture, their behaviors accurately mimicked the responses of the
majority of adults” (Silin, p.247)
Although
it is not appropriate to ignore these situations, I do understand why some
teachers do not want to get involved in discussing controversial matters in
their classrooms. The charter school I
work at only holds year-long contracts, they have to renew your contract at the
end of every year to ensure your job for the following school year. If controversial issues are brought up and it
causes uproar with the parents, regardless of teaching ability, you could lose
your job at the end of the school year.
In this economy, many people cannot afford to find a new job. This puts teachers between a rock and a hard
place. But, at the same time, the
students are already hearing these things at home, the media, the grocery
store, the bus, the playground, etc.
They take the bits and pieces they hear and share them. It is like the game telephone. By the time it gets to the end only bits and
pieces, if anything, resembles the original message. Kids may not comprehend everything they hear,
but they build their own understanding and create misconceptions. Why is it not better to ask the children what
they know, what they wonder, what they want to know? Don’t we do this with everything else we
teach? But most importantly, we need
students to be able to realize we are there for them, that we can help, that it
does get better!
I
like the idea of touching on the controversial issues within the content
already being taught. Giving students
real situations in history – these provide a great base for critical thinking,
while still learning about subject matter.
But I believe, along with others, the stem to many controversial issues is religion. We live in a free country and we are free to
practice any religion we please. But as
teachers, we have to step out of our own shoes, and share many different view
points and perspectives and give the students the opportunity to build their
own perspective. This problem arises
when the students’ viewpoints do not align with their parents’ viewpoints or
religious beliefs, which is when things become controversial.
