Dear
students (of my past, present, and future),
Through
teaching fourth through sixth grade, I have found that it is not the grade
level that makes a great difference in teaching, but you, the students, have
the biggest impact upon my teaching. As
I looked back at my own personal reflections of years past, I noticed that I
have created an image of home away from home.
The classroom décor matches, there are calming colors and even a couch
in the classroom library. Many students
come to school and need a place that is warm and welcoming, and a place were
they feel safe and comfortable. This is
so they can feel safe, let down their guard, and not be afraid in the
classroom; this will allow students to reflect upon themselves and better their
learning experience. This positive
experience creates an image for students of school and learning, and will
continue to shape students’ educational careers.
While
reflecting upon field, I noticed many were not necessarily based on content and
delivery; but many notes I had were related to the teacher-student
relationship. In fact, in many cases I
was sad, thinking about students. I
questioned others on their tactics in handling students. I know that, as a teacher, we are here to
teach you and not necessarily here to be your friend, but there needs to be
some level of personal connection for us to relate to and understand each other.
In
my field notes, I noted many aspects of the teacher-student relationships;
although, in many cases I had feelings of sadness. When referring to my field notes from TE401,
I noted, “Wow, is being that harsh really necessary? Is there another way to ask them to read
louder than criticizing them in front of the whole class?” And in my field notes from my student
teaching I noted, “Why does she always call Kyle out? Was it necessary to move him all by
himself?”
But, as I taught in different places, I did
notice myself becoming more “strict” and building a different type of
relationship with students. With
students that do not take school seriously, and refuse to apply themselves, I
found myself becoming harsher and holding them more accountable for their
learning. However, when having discussions
with students, if possible, I like to keep those conversations quiet and
personal. It is, in fact, a personal
conversation between two people and not a whole classroom. While I was becoming less of the “loving and
caring“ teacher I used to be, I did not stop caring, I just cared in a new
way. I cared about the learning; and if
I had to raise the bar to hold onto my high expectations of all of my students,
then that is what I had to do.
But
there are definitely times when the loving and caring teacher comes out and
puts things aside. After teaching in an
inner city school, with 94% of my students qualifying for free (not reduces)
lunch, I have found that I ask my students different questions when greeting
them in the morning. One situation
became personal when I reflected upon a story:
It was a Tuesday after school. I had stayed after because I am the emergency
staff on call for our afterschool programs on Tuesday’s. As I was about to leave the building, I was
casually talking to another teacher as we were walking out the door. She had left something in her room, and went
back for it, while I left for the parking lot.
As I got to the end of the sidewalk, heading towards the parking lot I
noticed that our street was completely blocked off by police. They were not the SWAT team, but there were
probably about 15 offices dressed in black uniforms walking down the street
with some sort of large rifles. As I saw
them, I immediately turned around to return to the building. Kim, the afterschool program coordinator had
noticed them too and asked me what was going on as she let me back into the
building. At this point, our director
(principal) went out to the street to ask the police officers what had
happened. They told her there was a
shooting across the street and the shooter ran down our street. They could not find him and he was hiding
somewhere. They then asked her to return
to the building and resume lockdown position, since he was armed and dangerous. After a while there was not any progress and
we risked leaving so we could go home.
The following day at school, one of my sixth
graders was very disturbed. She told me
that the shooting occurring in the parking lot at her apartment complex right
after she, and her younger sisters, walked home after school. When her mom came home from work the body was
still laying in the parking lot. Then,
on her way to school that morning, the body was gone, but they did not clean up
any of the blood or other remnants at the crime scene.
This
experience was very different compared to anything I had dealt with in my life
and in the middle/upper-class public school district I previously worked. Although my previous students had a different
set of challenges, I would have never imagined having so many students live
with such horrors. Looking at this
situation, I finally was able to understand where some of you were coming from
and that if I say, “Good morning,” and the response let’s me know you did not
have a good morning, I have to take a different tactic than before. Maybe today would not be the best to
introduce the Battle of Bunker Hill, but instead discuss further why the
Patriots had such strong feelings.
I
now know I have to ask myself questions like, “Did they fall asleep because
they were up too late playing video games, or because the cops were called and
they couldn’t go to bed on time?” And,
“Are they hungry because they didn’t eat dinner the night before, or just
because they forgot their snack?”
There
are so many things that are seen, that children should never have to
experience. There are so many situations
that students have today that they shouldn’t have to worry about. Why can some of you be allowed to have a
so-called normal childhood, while so many of you have witnessed more than many
adults? Yet, you are and will continue
to be held to the same high expectations as all other students. You need to stand up tall and carry-on with
your business as usual. We don’t know
what the world will bring us, but sitting around waiting to find out is not the
answer. We must move on and prepare the
best way we know how. Times do, and
always will change. As a teacher, it is important to always
adapt my teaching practice and curriculum to ensure our students become global
citizens in our ever-changing world. Whether
that means I teach future students with new technology or make sure students
are able to build relationships with each other in our screen driven society.
Many of you have broken homes and
role models that do not always model positive communications with others. This is why it is vital for me, as a teacher
and role model, to create this image in the classroom and model positive
conversation and interactions with others.
There are so many cases in which problems are dealt with a physical
means, instead of just talking through something simple. Is it worth it to get into a physical fight
over another student places you glasses (he found on the floor) on the wrong
desk? Could it have been dealt with by
asking a simple question, like,“Why are these glasses on my desk?” instead of responding with hateful words and
threatening a student. Were glasses
being on a desk really worth it? In
order to build positive relationships with peers, it is imperative to
understand why these skills are so important in life. The dialog between students is so important,
and will continue to become even more so as we are driven into the technology
world. I have found that face-to-face
communication is dwindling, along with manners and common curiosity; the core
democratic values are losing their luster.
The relationship, along with the ambiance of the classroom, helps to
create an image in which I feel is vital to creating an ideal classroom
environment, which directly affects my teaching. This image is with my students of the past,
my current students and will continue to remain for students of the
future.
Yours
in education,
Antoinette
Bogdanski
