Is it really necessary?

Middle school was a horrible time for me, as well as for many people I know.  Everyone is different and unique, but middle school is not the place to be different.  Growing up I did not deal with the thoughts and feelings inside that many GLBT students do, but my differences were on the outside – right out in the open.  I was an early bloomer.  I had horrid acne (on my face, neck, back, arms, etc.) and filled out my shirt quite well.  These were even more obvious when we had swim class everyday for a whole marking period.  I was made fun of and harassed by students at school and on the bus.  Many days I came home crying and did not want to leave my room.  The horrible things other kids said would just run through my mind and I felt that no one cared about me.  After a while, even my “friends” joined forces with the other kids.  I tried to make new friends, but no friends stuck.  I felt so alone.  I didn’t even want to go to school anymore.  My parents knew a little bit, but I did not feel that anyone could stop what was happening.  Of course, none of the horrible things were said in front of other adults; so, how could they stop it?

As Burns states, “Teen bullying and suicide has reached an epidemic in our country. Especially among gay and lesbian youth, those perceived to be gay, or kids who are just different.”  I was bullied just because I was different.  Because I was a kid going through puberty.  I feel that bullying has gone on in schools for decades, but it is different than it used to be.  Maybe kids said things, but the abuse was more physical.  When my parents were in school, kids got slammed into lockers and they got beat up in the parking lot.  Someone might be called a “nerd,” but that was the extent of the verbal harassing.  Although it has continued through time, the course of action has changed.  I completely disagree with the idiom, “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.”  I feel that it is quite the opposite.  Yes, being physically bullied will hurt, but it is short term.  Bruises scrapes and cuts heal, but words stick stay in your brain.  You hear them being repeated over, and over, and over again in your head.  They do not go away. 

Although I am not a usual Lifetime Channel viewer, someone in my household DVRed "Sexting in Suburbia."  It is a horribly sad story about a girl named Dina whose naked picture went viral after sending it to her boyfriend.  When she commits suicide, her mother begins looking for answers.  She had been taunted and teased from the kids at school and the community.  Yes, even the parents were involved.  The school and staff knew about it, but did nothing to stop it.  When her mother starts digging around she begins receiving threats, break-ins and her daughter's grave is terrorized.  This is reality for others out there.  How can we send these messages that this is okay to our students?  

Many parents do not take bullying seriously, especially when it comes to boys.  I have heard time and time again, “Boys will be boys!”  I had a situation this year where I called a parent because of a boy in my class saying things to and about another child in the classroom.  Although the mother was not happy with her son, she did not see the action as “bullying” or “that big of a deal.”  There are many resources out there for teachers to help aide in bullying prevention.  If parents were aware of why these issues are so important, they would no longer be controversial issues.

The big question is why do we teach?  What is our purpose?  What do we want to accomplish?  I want to provide all students with a safe and secure environment where they feel comfortable and want to learn and make sense of the world around them.  A place where my students are engaged, curious and become members of a community and life-long learners.   Although I have not heard any students refer to each other having AIDS or HIV, as mentioned by Silin’s, I have heard them use slang and other derogatory terms where they did not know the actual meaning, but had just heard it used by others in the media and at home.  “Whether motivated by specific fears and anxieties, or simply the emotional resonance of the word in our culture, their behaviors accurately mimicked the responses of the majority of adults” (Silin, p.247)

Although it is not appropriate to ignore these situations, I do understand why some teachers do not want to get involved in discussing controversial matters in their classrooms.  The charter school I work at only holds year-long contracts, they have to renew your contract at the end of every year to ensure your job for the following school year.  If controversial issues are brought up and it causes uproar with the parents, regardless of teaching ability, you could lose your job at the end of the school year.  In this economy, many people cannot afford to find a new job.  This puts teachers between a rock and a hard place.   But, at the same time, the students are already hearing these things at home, the media, the grocery store, the bus, the playground, etc.  They take the bits and pieces they hear and share them.  It is like the game telephone.  By the time it gets to the end only bits and pieces, if anything, resembles the original message.  Kids may not comprehend everything they hear, but they build their own understanding and create misconceptions.  Why is it not better to ask the children what they know, what they wonder, what they want to know?  Don’t we do this with everything else we teach?  But most importantly, we need students to be able to realize we are there for them, that we can help, that it does get better!

I like the idea of touching on the controversial issues within the content already being taught.  Giving students real situations in history – these provide a great base for critical thinking, while still learning about subject matter.  But I believe, along with others, the stem to many controversial issues is religion.  We live in a free country and we are free to practice any religion we please.  But as teachers, we have to step out of our own shoes, and share many different view points and perspectives and give the students the opportunity to build their own perspective.  This problem arises when the students’ viewpoints do not align with their parents’ viewpoints or religious beliefs, which is when things become controversial.